Carpe Diem

1 Januari 2024, dua tahun genap sudah tinggal di Singapura, menggembara dan menggembalakan IFGF SG. Banyak yang tanya, “gimana hidup di sana ? apa semua ok?” dan selalu saya jawab, “no complaints”. Kenapa juga harus komplen karena waktu ditugaskan di sini kan juga udah didoakan, dipikirkan, ditimbang, dijemur, dibalik dan ditiriskan. Dua tahun bukan waktu yang lama tapi juga tidak sebentar, dalam dua tahun ini ada banyak momen penting terjadi di keluarga besar kami tanpa kehadiran kami. Sebaliknya juga banyak hal terjadi dengan kami yang keluarga besar juga ga tahu secara detail, karena kalo berkunjung ke Bandung tentunya ga bisa ceritain semua hal dengan detail. Sampai titik ini, yah tetep no complaints. Tahun baru ini ada banyak sekali yang dipikirkan dan direnungkan.

In pursuit of a change, at the end of this year, Rika and I decided to watch the New Year’s fireworks in Macpherson because it’s the closest location to our home. So, the story goes like this: in Singapore, just before the New Year’s countdown, they have designated areas for fireworks displays. You can’t just set off fireworks or firecrackers anywhere; only in the authorized locations, and only the approved organizers are allowed to do so. Therefore, we waited and parked at the designated location after checking out the atmosphere there beforehand. We decided to “hack” our way to watch the fireworks from a different spot because we didn’t want to be stuck in a super crowded area where we might not be able to leave once it’s over. So, we parked in a nearby field to still get a good view but in a safer condition.

Feeling a bit too clever for our own good, we waited until midnight and ended up falling asleep because it was a Sunday, and we were already quite exhausted. But we did it for the sake of a change from the monotonous routine of just watching fireworks from home. When the clock struck 12, we could hear the sound of the fireworks, but we couldn’t see them from our parking spot… jeng..jeng… Without wasting any time, we hit the gas and raced towards the fireworks, eventually stopping on the side of the road to watch them until the end, and… it was disappointing, haha. Our expectations were for a grand and lengthy fireworks show, but since the main fireworks event was happening at Marina area (Merlion and the river in front of it), the fireworks in Macpherson were not as extravagant and were rather ordinary.

So, we headed home and waited until 1 o’clock to wish our friends and family in Indonesia a happy New Year while watching the TV to see what had happened at Marina, and it was indeed spectacular. The fireworks were much better and longer there, meeting our expectations for a fireworks event.

Di tengah-tengah itu semua saya merenungkan semua ini saya jadi mulai mengerti sedikit-sedikit fragmen dari Tuhan yang Dia kasih. Berkat itu butuh pengorbanan, mirip sama nonton kembang api, ada harga yang harus dibayar. Makin nyaman posisi kita, makin jauh dari kembang apinya. Sebaliknya makin tidak nyaman posisi kita, maka kembang api nya akan semakin jelas dan semakin dekat. Apabila saya pilih tempat jauh yang “gampang buat saya”, maka saya harus “mengorbankan” beberapa hal yang justru penting dan merupakan tujuan dari perjalanan itu sendiri. Think about it. I drove all the way to the fireworks place and waited 2 hours, and I couldn’t even pay the small price of joining the crowd and waiting for the fireworks to start.

Most of the time in our lives, we end up spending our lives doing things that we don’t like and don’t want, never really trying to do what we want. No matter how young or old you are, if you are reading this, think about your life and ask yourself, do you really want to miss the fireworks? God is giving you a masterpiece design; are you sure you want to skip that and just do whatever you think is easiest for you?

I went to Macpherson to watch the smaller version of the fireworks. Do you know what happened at Marina? It was far bigger and more extravagant than the one I saw. But even the hassle in Macpherson was enough for me to reject and not want to experience, let alone the crowd and complications at Marina. However, to be fair… I don’t know, I didn’t go to Marina. That’s exactly what happens in our lives too; we draw conclusions from a tiny piece of data that isn’t representative and refuse to do great things just because we’re afraid of all the complications and unverified stories.

For the sake of convenience, I often end up choosing to make assumptions, and in the end, not doing what should be done. However, the effort to go to Macpherson is not much different from going to Marina. Sometimes, we do tend to opt for the easier path rather than the challenging one. Last year, there were many thoughts about our life here in Singapore, especially amidst the soaring prices. How long should we stay here, or might we stay here forever? Well, if we look at it from the perspective of the fireworks display earlier, we can only make a decision after we have gone through all the complexities, and only then can we fairly weigh and assess.

Now, at the turn of the year into 2024, after a full two years in this ‘little red dot,’ I am beginning to think that it may be time to revisit our initial vision, why we were here in the first place, and why we wanted to do it in the first place. Revisiting the vision is a healthy way to evaluate our course in life, and we need that as much as making a plan ahead. Mark this down: evaluation is as important as planning ahead. Evaluation will show us what needs to change and what needs improvement. Nah kita seringkali tidak pernah melakukan evaluasi dan terus melakukan perencanaan tanpa memperbaiki apa yang kurang tepat. Ini yang menyebabkan kita muter-muter di tempat yang sama dan ketemu dengan masalah yang itu lagi itu lagi. Mumpung tahun baru, saya mau coba buat berubah dan mulai kebiasaan-kebiasaan baru. Ga gampang, dan pasti banyak yang keteteran, tapi kalo ga mulai sekarang, kapan lagi ? dan kalo ga pernah evaluasi kapan lagi?. Hidup itu harusnya banyak bersyukur bukan banyak menyesali, “ah harusnya dulu saya ambil saja tawaran itu” atau “ah harusnya dulu saya berani bertindak”. I want to live boldly and go where people have never been before. (PYK Jan 2024)